my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize