Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
