THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
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He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
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We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.