today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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