I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
