that's an acceptable place to lick
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
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when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
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She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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