East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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