Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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