did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
