I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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