Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize