Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I think I sprained my soul last night
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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