So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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