if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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