How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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