You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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