idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
