I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
