sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
