I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
