Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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