one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Btw I puked in your glovebox
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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