he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
