Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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