if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
