Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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