How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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