she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
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