I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize