break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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