even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
