dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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