There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
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He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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