He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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