Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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