someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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