I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize