Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
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Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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