If i come over, it means nothing
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
