sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.