So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months