And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.