Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.