Texts From Last Night

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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up

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  (413): so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up http://tfl.nu/rtem
  Replies (23) Good night (3496) Bad night (411)
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  (818): View more from California

  I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed

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  (818): I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed http://tfl.nu/k0bk
  Replies (33) Good night (559) Bad night (3450) Order T-Shirt
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  (281): View more from Texas

  I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!

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  (281): I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy! http://tfl.nu/gg3p
  Replies (51) Good night (5128) Bad night (828) Order T-Shirt
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  (585): View more from New York

  I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.

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  (585): I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys. http://tfl.nu/354b
  Replies (19) Good night (5287) Bad night (1661) Order T-Shirt
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  (858): View more from California

  Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.

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  (858): Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today. http://tfl.nu/g96b
  Replies (10) Good night (3315) Bad night (1286) Order T-Shirt
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  (408): View more from California

  just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".

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  (408): just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right". http://tfl.nu/kg1e
  Replies (8) Good night (1596) Bad night (4248) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.

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  (412): Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day. http://tfl.nu/ky2l
  Replies (6) Good night (1757) Bad night (841) Order T-Shirt
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.

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  (808): I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup. http://tfl.nu/a5xy
  Replies (4) Good night (760) Bad night (1511) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  Just drove past the dude that came in your sock

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  (315): Just drove past the dude that came in your sock http://tfl.nu/cm59
  Replies (3) Good night (636) Bad night (1426) Order T-Shirt
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.

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  (217): Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day. http://tfl.nu/dztj
  Replies (3) Good night (850) Bad night (833) Order T-Shirt
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  (813): View more from Florida

  If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.

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  (813): If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him. http://tfl.nu/2jpe
  Replies (5) Good night (1130) Bad night (407) Order T-Shirt
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut

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  (605): captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut http://tfl.nu/q1db
  Replies (8) Good night (2475) Bad night (406) Order T-Shirt
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"

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  (781): BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin" http://tfl.nu/ul1h
  Replies (14) Good night (381) Bad night (735) Order T-Shirt
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.

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  (702): The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it. http://tfl.nu/gqru
  Replies (4) Good night (616) Bad night (331) Order T-Shirt
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there

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  (801): Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there http://tfl.nu/7057
  Replies (3) Good night (369) Bad night (191) Order T-Shirt

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