this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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