Kareoke will never be a sober sport
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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