I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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