Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
