I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
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The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
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if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize