I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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