It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
