I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize