I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
