What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize