Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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