Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
