Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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