he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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