I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize