That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
